Historical Assumptions

Peanut...Peanut...Bicycle!

2012-02-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Location: A Radio Station In The Land Of Make-Believe

Nowadays, it’s quite common for game shows to have celebrity contestants to give a boost to the ol’ ratings.

But, this is what I imagine it would have been like back in those days (let’s say 1930s-ish) when it wasn’t so common.

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that McClure’s magazine columnist, Ray Stannard Baker had a regular radio show called Peanut, Peanut, Bicycle and George Washington Carver was invited to play for a ratings stunt.

Now, George Washington Carver, of course, knew a lot about peanuts. He would ultimately develop 300 derivative products from them—among them: cheese, milk, coffee, flour, ink, dyes, plastics, wood stains, soap, linoleum, medicinal oils, and cosmetics. And you should have seen what you did with sweet potatoes!

But...

Did he know about bicycles?

Start at the start, end at the end, and read all that's to be read...

Borrowed Photographs (in order of appearance): Ray Stannard Baker taken by Bain News Service (c.1900-1920) George Washington Carver taken by ? (c.?) Sketch of Peanuts by ? (c. ?) Picture of Open Peanut taken by ? (c. ?) Man with Bike taken by ? (c. ?) Painting of Peanut Plant taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Peanuts taken by ? (c. ?) Woman on Bike taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Peanuts taken by ? (c. ?) Painting of Peanut Plant by ? (c. ?) Picture of Unicycle taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Judges taken by ? (c. ?) Sketch of Boy on Bike by ? (c, ?) Picture of Bike taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Roasted Peanuts taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Man on Pennyfarthing taken by ? (c. ?) George Washington Closeup taken by ? (c.?) Picture of Two Peanuts taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Open Peanut Shell taken by ? (c. ?) Picture of Man Riding Bedframe Bike taken by ? (c. ?)

Getting To Know (Vlad The Impaler)

2012-01-26T15:20:00.000-08:00

Of special note:
The title of this album should be sung to the tune of 'Getting To Know You' from Rodgers and Hammerstein's hit 1951 musical, The King and I.

Now, I would not be surprised if you have heard tell of Vlad Dracul III-The Impaler of Transylvania-or his 1/2 x 2 mile stretch of land, filled with captured prisoners impaled on pikes.

I would be surprised, however, if you have heard tell of Michael Wolgemut, the esteemed 15th century German printmaker. And this is because...well...because there is little known of Michael Wolgemut, the esteemed 15th century German printmaker, beyond the already stated (he was an esteemed 15th century German printmaker).

It would also be surprising if you have heard tell of their meeting. Because it is just as likely that they never met. But, let us just say (for once and for today) that they did and, furthermore, that it went like this.

Start at the start, end at the end, and read all that's to be read...

Borrowed Paintings (in order of appearance):
Porträt des Michael Wolgemut by Albrecht Dürer (1516)
Vlad Ţepeş by Anonymous (circa 1560)
Woodcut from the title page of a 1499 pamphlet published by Markus Ayrer in Nuremberg. (circa 1499)
Woodcut of Nuremburg from Nuremburg Chronicle by Michael Wolgemut (1493)

Trouble At The Lincolns

2012-01-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Location: The White House

This is what (one may surmise) happened at dinner, the evening after some of US President Abraham Lincoln's most famous words. Present (one would surmise), were Mr. Lincoln, First Lady Mary Todd Lincoln, Vice President Hannibal Hamlin, Secretary Of War Edwin Stanton, Secretary Of The Treasury Salmon Chase, and Secretary Of State William H. Seward.

One would also have to surmise (though it may seem inconsequential) that they were having soup.

Start at the start, end at the end, and read all that's to be read...

Borrowed Photographs (in order of appearance):
White House North Lawn taken by ? (c.1860)
Hannibal Hamlin taken by Matthew Brady (c.1860-1865)
Edwin Stanton taken by Matthew Brady? (c.1860-1865)
Salmon P. Chase taken by Matthew Brady (c.1860-1865)
William H. Seward taken by Matthew Brady (c.1860-1865)
Abraham Lincoln taken by ? (c.1860-1865)
Mary Todd Lincoln taken by ? (c.?)

When James Fennimore Cooper Meets John James Audubon

2011-10-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Location: Probably A Tavern Called Stumps

To fully take in this conversation, we must know a couple of things:
1.) That John James Audubon was the renowned early 19th century ornithological artist whose prints in Birds of America is still considered one of the greatest examples of book art.
2.) That James Fennimore Cooper was author of the classic books Last of the Mohicans and Leatherstocking Tales.

And we must also assume a couple of falacies actually happened:
1.) That James Fennimore Cooper and John James Audubon met.
2.) That the place where they met was probably a tavern called Stumps. Start at the start, end at the end, and read all that's to be read...

Borrowed Paintings (in order of appearance):
John James Audubon by John Syme (1826)
James Fenimore Cooper by John Wesley Jarvis (1826)
Ivory-billed Woodpecker by John James Audubon in Birds of America (1827-1838)
Gyrfalcon by John James Audubon in Birds of America (1827-1838)

Alexander Graham Bell's 2nd Phone Call

2011-07-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

Alexander Graham Bell made his first phone call on March 10, 1876. He called an adjoining room, where his assistant, Thomas A Watson, sat. Bell spoke into the device and said, "Mr Watson, come here. I want to see you" This, of course, is common knowledge.

What is not common knowledge and not entirely (or at all) true is his second phone call, which occured some five minutes after the initial call.

It is, presumably, the first phone conversation conducted (at least in part) with a phone device. It is, however, important to know that Bell's initial prototype had a transmitter end and a receiver end. Bell sat at the transmitter end, with Watson sitting at the receiver end. This, of course, meant that Bell could speak to Watson through the device, but not vice versa.
Watson would have had to shout through the wall.

Location: 109 Court St. Boston, MA (to be precise)

Borrowed Pictures (in order of appearance):
Classic Telephone taken by ? (c.?)
Alexander Graham Bell taken by ? (c.?)
Thomas A. Watson taken by ? (c.1883)

The Hardest Part About Being Herman Melville Was The Herman Melville Part

2011-07-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time (that probably did not happen) Thomas Bailey Aldrich, editor of Atlantic Monthly, held a monthly public discussion with noted authors of the period. The series of discussions was called "Who Still Writes Books." Of course, no film exists from those discussions because no film existed during those discussions-also because the discussions may not have existed to begin with. This is what he may have found out about Herman Melville.

Location: A small cafe on the corner of Assumption St. and Fake Blvd.

Borrowed Pictures (in order of appearance):
Thomas Bailey Aldrich taken by ? (c.1885 - 1907)
Herman Melville frontispiece to Journal Up the Straits taken by ? (c.1860)

Everything Nellie Bly Ever Wanted To Know About Grover Cleveland

2011-07-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

This is how the interview would have gone down if the crackerjack investigative reporter, Nellie Bly, got her assumed wish to interview former president Grover Cleveland.

Location: The Land Of Intrique And Suspense (also Assumption)

Pictures Borrowed (in order of appearance):
Nellie Bly taken by ? (c.?)
Grover Cleveland taken by ? (c.?)
Street Scene taken by ? (c.?)
Cart Accident taken by ? (c.?)
Steamboat taken by ? (c.?)
William Howard Taft taken by ? (c. 1907)

Ten Questions For Shortstop Rabbit Maranville

2011-07-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

A lost (Because it was never conducted) interview between Boston Braves shortstop, Walter James "Rabbit" Maranville, and New York Tribune sportswriter, Heywood Broun.

Borrowed Pictures (in order of appearance):
Portrait of Heywood Broun by ? (c.1935)
Portrait of Rabbit Maranville by Chicago Daily News (1914)

An Impossible Conversation With Emily Dickinson

2011-06-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

The following is a supposed dialogue between the poet, Emily Dickinson, and the editor, Samuel Bowles, over a supposed lunch.

Location: Probability

Borrowed Pictures (in order of appearance):
Emily Dickinson daguerrotype by ? (c.1848)
Samuel Bowles by ? (1907)